Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Who is Ezra Dribble???!

The following comments are extracted from our archives.  They are excerpts from letters, internet posts, and the vague recollections of then town mayor, Clem, the Barber.  Presented at the Anyville Town Council Meeting in late autumn of 2007, they provided the impetus for the funding of “Anyville: A Visitor’s Guide.”

“My wife and I recently stayed in a cabin on the lake with our three children.  My wife, being a school teacher, thought it would be fun to spend a rainy day in the town proper, teaching the children about the history of the town.  My wife told me that no one would explain about old, ugly dark tree that holds up the Book Loft’s balcony, and that the townspeople were downright rude when she asked questions about the founders of the town.  Needless to say, we will be spending our next summer in Lakeside Hollows.” – Martin Haversham

“Who or what the hell is a Dribble?!  My daughter pointed at her sister and said loudly, ‘Look, ma, Emily’s dribbling her ice cream,’ and everyone inside and looking through the windows stopped speaking and just stared at us.  Then they all started whispering, ‘Dribble’ and shaking their heads.  It was downright creepy.  We will not be returning to Anyville!” – Mary Mortimer

Old town, old people, old tree.  Everyone talks too much.  If you want quiet, just ask them about Ezra Dribble or go get your haircut in another town.” – Bobby Williams, age 12

“Anyville is a beautiful place to fish, boat, hike, and just simply enjoy the natural surroundings.  The town itself has beautiful artwork and many interesting galleries, museums, shops and restaurants.  Overall, I would have given this vacation spot a five star rating, but questions related to the history and founding of the town were met with chilly responses and icy glares.  Three stars.” - Paul Vickers, “Vacation Spots Off the Beaten Path”

We did came to swim and to see the place that great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandpappy done lived.  We ain’t gonna come back!” Myrna Hycks nee Dribble

[Editor’s note: that last comment raised such a ruckus from the cheering during the town hall meeting of autumn 2007 that Mayor Clem had a fit.  Clutching the notes in his wrinkled fist, he reprimanded Sue Ellen Marzipan for even printing such a ridiculous comment.  Once Sue Ellen stopped her bawling, Clem continued, rereading the notes above.  He then went on to read about 50-some-odd other ones.]

We are proud to say that, on that fateful day in autumn of 2007, the town council passed a ruling that required townspeople to force a smile whenever anyone asked about the town’s founder.  Further, they commissioned “Anyville: A Visitor’s Guide,” which is in its 20th reprinting.  Free copies are available at the Visitor’s Center and in the Book Loft.  We proudly dedicate our first pages of the guide to the history of Anyville, replete with information about the much maligned Ezra Dribble.

[Editor’s second note: The Visitor’s Guide is out for reprinting (21st reprinting) and is not expected to be available until September or October of 2014.  Below are some of the photographs that you can expect to see in the latest Visitor’s Guide once it’s available.]

 Anyville Nature Preserve

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